Sunday, June 24, 2012


The Truth is.... that I love this baby girl with all my heart.  A few days ago , she hid on me...and I could not find her for a few minutes.  For those horrible moments, my heart filled up with fear and decay.  The thoughts that ran threw my brain demolished my existance in every single way.  I love this baby girl.  It is my job and purpose to protect her.  It is my privilage to love her.  Yes, she is my challenge.  She is the reason I have gray hair and wrinkles and can't sleep....but, wow....she is my gift.  My light.  My treasure.   My joy...and my Love.  I adore how she starts dancing the moment she hears music.  I love that she helps me with laundry by hanging underwear and running to the closet to place it proud.  The truth is...that I hate the heat.  I turn quite crabby in it.  I have been making meals in the oven (can we shout moron?) and the kitchen is like a sauna...but I dont' know how to function this grill (yet) and that's all Im finding as of yes, tonight Mid to late June, I make a flippen pot roast in the oven. (could have used a tad more seasoning)  call me crazy, it's o.k., I accept.   Instead of potatoes, we cook cauliflower and smash it.  That's the replacement.  That's what we do, to be healthier.  That's one of the many things.   Sometimes, I wish I could just drive through a drive through and call it a day.  But, I know in the end, if that's what I did, I wouldn't be happy.  I wouldn't be making the best choices.  So, yes this meal prep takes alot.   But, that's o.k., because in the end, heck even in the's worth it.  I know it is.   Anywho......(which I don't say in real life but just in typing format)...Anywho... we have approx. (after tonight) 8 days til closing.   *8 days, til we turn the key in our new front door.  Our new life awaits.   So, I am packing and waiting and cleaning and praying that all pans out as planned and proper.  Waiting is so hard.  Even though I am drowning in tasks and must do's...waiting is so hard.  Yes, now its a smidge over a week...but, still....I think now we are almost counting the minutes.  I am so thankful that we found a house that I believe we will LOVE.   So crazy, when you are looking and looking and finding nothing....and then you know.  You know, that this is it....and then by miracle or chance or both or jounery is ours.  Our new home.  So ...anyway...I believe in wonderfulness....why?????????// because there is a dishwasher there.   Did you hear me?????  A dishwasher?   I have not had a dishwasher in many years.  We go through a thousand dishes a day and I stand at the sink for a majority of my waking yes, I am quite excited about this little appliance that awaits me.   Ben tells me plans all the time. constant plans...that he creates and wants to tell me...his mom.  That little boy.... his imagination just amazes me.  Isabelle, that little girl who is getting so old.  She is so beautiful and sweet.  God must have taken a liking to me along the way, to bless me with these gems.   He must of thought I was something special...cuz look what I have got!  I've got these amazing little blessings, that tell me every day ...that they love me...and I believe them.  I know the truth.  Of course I know it.... I would be nothing without them.  Thank you lord.   For my family.  For my friends.  For my heart, that is brave and strong enough to get up each day and face the trials, accept the pains...but overall love this life.   Overall.   Love.

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