Thursday, June 28, 2012

Goodbye, Sir Lancelot

This is one of those days, that is so hard in this life.  So heartbreaking, so unheard of, so not prepared for....yet, so real.  It was time.  We knew it in our heads, although our hearts were harder to accept it.  Today, we put our Lance to Sleep.  He has been sick for a while, and it has been getting worse and worse.  It has been so hard to see him in pain...struggling.  Today, we said goodbye to our dog,  our pet, our protector, our friend...of 9 years.  I keep looking out the window to check on him, but he is not there.  I keep waiting for his bark, but it is silent.   too quiet (even with Olivia around).    He is no longer with us and that hurts....it is hard.  yes, I know, I admit, I have wanted to hit him over the head with a frying pan a time or two....but of course I never would.  He was just instincitively, being who he is is....a dog.   An animal, wild...and fierce...protecting and loyal.  Today, I looked into his eyes, and I said goodbye friend.  Goodbye, baby.  I know.  I know it hurts, but it will be over soon.   I believe with all my heart he is heaven now,... and now he is healed....now he runs around....with four legs (not three).  Now, he is free.  free.  healthy and happy.  free.  I am sorry for the hard times and for the pain.  Yes, I do believe that Lance is in Dog Heaven right now...with all my heart I believe it.  He was good.  He will be missed.  Isabelle is doing o.k., but Ben (and Noah) are so broken hearted.  Ben has been crying all day/night.  This has been a very long and hard day.  I have read Rainbow Bridge and Dog Heaven to the Kids.  Ben drew a picture of lance and wrote him a note.  I tucked the kids in bed and told them to talk to him in their prayers.  Tell him how much you love him and how much you will miss him and that you are so happy that he is no longer in pain.  God Bless you, Lancelot.  Thank you, for all these years of protection and loyality.  I pray that you are happy and that you hurt no more.  I pray that you know that with all your heart, that we loved you and we will never forget you.... You are ours.  Our family.  Goodbye, my friend.  Sleep well.  Sweet Dreams my Love.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Pink Perch

So, I ripped open my paint boxes because I felt so inspired to do so.  A friend of mine is working on a fundraiser/event for breast cancer in my hometown....and I feel very strongly about creating some things that could possible touch someone/raise money...or whatever their purpose would serve.  This is my first item.  Hope I get to work on something else today.  I hear the weather is supposed to be getting very hottish..coming up...I am afraid to look at the forecast.  Olivia has been such a stinker latley about going to bed or naptime.   Yesterday she was having such a fit for the longest time...all these noises, screams coming out of her room and all of a sudden I hear her say:  nanananananana ....Batman!   I could not help, but laugh.  Something new I made yesterday for dinner is Taco Bowls...The twist on this verses our regular taco wraps is , that I bake Kale Chips to go along with it.  It was nice for a change and a little crunch/flare.  Super easy.   Been doing a lot of (great) social things this week...now it's time to slow things down and refocus at the tasks at hand.  I can't believe it's near the end of June already.  Wow, summer is flying.   I suppose, it usually does. :)

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Truth

The Truth is.... that I love this baby girl with all my heart.  A few days ago , she hid on me...and I could not find her for a few minutes.  For those horrible moments, my heart filled up with fear and decay.  The thoughts that ran threw my brain demolished my existance in every single way.  I love this baby girl.  It is my job and purpose to protect her.  It is my privilage to love her.  Yes, she is my challenge.  She is the reason I have gray hair and wrinkles and can't sleep....but, wow....she is my gift.  My light.  My treasure.   My joy...and my Love.  I adore how she starts dancing the moment she hears music.  I love that she helps me with laundry by hanging underwear and running to the closet to place it properly...so proud.  The truth is...that I hate the heat.  I turn quite crabby in it.  I have been making meals in the oven (can we shout moron?) and the kitchen is like a sauna...but I dont' know how to function this grill (yet) and that's all Im finding as of late....so yes, tonight Mid to late June, I make a flippen pot roast in the oven. (could have used a tad more seasoning)  call me crazy, it's o.k., I accept.   Instead of potatoes, we cook cauliflower and smash it.  That's the replacement.  That's what we do, to be healthier.  That's one of the many things.   Sometimes, I wish I could just drive through a drive through and call it a day.  But, I know in the end, if that's what I did, I wouldn't be happy.  I wouldn't be making the best choices.  So, yes this meal prep takes alot.   But, that's o.k., because in the end, heck even in the middle...it's worth it.  I know it is.   Anywho......(which I don't say in real life but just in typing format)...Anywho... we have approx. (after tonight) 8 days til closing.   *8 days, til we turn the key in our new front door.  Our new life awaits.   So, I am packing and waiting and cleaning and praying that all pans out as planned and proper.  Waiting is so hard.  Even though I am drowning in tasks and must do's...waiting is so hard.  Yes, now its a smidge over a week...but, still....I think now we are almost counting the minutes.  I am so thankful that we found a house that I believe we will LOVE.   So crazy, when you are looking and looking and finding nothing....and then you know.  You know, that this is it....and then by miracle or chance or both combined...faith or jounery destined....it is ours.  Our new home.  So ...anyway...I believe in wonderfulness....why?????????// because there is a dishwasher there.   Did you hear me?????  A dishwasher?   I have not had a dishwasher in many years.  We go through a thousand dishes a day and I stand at the sink for a majority of my waking life...so yes, I am quite excited about this little appliance that awaits me.   Ben tells me plans all the time. constant plans...that he creates and wants to tell me...his mom.  That little boy.... his imagination just amazes me.  Isabelle, that little girl who is getting so old.  She is so beautiful and sweet.  God must have taken a liking to me along the way, to bless me with these gems.   He must of thought I was something special...cuz look what I have got!  I've got these amazing little blessings, that tell me every day ...that they love me...and I believe them.  I know the truth.  Of course I know it.... I would be nothing without them.  Thank you lord.   For my family.  For my friends.  For my heart, that is brave and strong enough to get up each day and face the trials, accept the pains...but overall love this life.   Overall.   Love.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Pouting just a little bit.

 Such a time as this...lightening bugs have arrived.  Evening veils and little bare feet run across the dewy grass, capturing these magical flying sparks...  Summer has officially arrived. :)
 Ben had a plan.  He insisted that I make him a Ninja turtle mask.  One ribbon and some scissors later and all of this little boys dreams came true. 
 Beautiful little girls in summer dresses.  Isabelle got a recent hair cut with "layers" her dream.  (wow, am I making dreams come true around here or what?)  I think she viewed herself in the mirror for 8 hours straight , trying different styles and singing....
 Right now, I forget why this little baby was so sad...but I am in sure it had something to do with not getting her way. hehe
 The Children of the Garden.  These people just love picking and eating snap peas.
 Baby girl playing with water bowls that I set up for her on the deck.  Kept her happy and busy forever.  Who needs toys?  Between bowls and boxes lately, we are just thrilled to the moon.
Watermelon, Cucumber, Mint & a few other ingredients Salad.
I have made this salad twice since summer has begun and we absolutely love it.  Its refreshing , healthy and so easy to make.  Sometimes, I think about things that I miss from our meals (breads, pastas, etc) since we have started eating more Paleo, and I get a little sad...but then I think, about all the new , exciting and awesome ingredients and meals that I have discovered since we started this.  It feels good to eat these things and there are so many flavors that I have never even thought of before.  I am enjoying cooking (although I must admit that it takes longer than I would personally like but I try to enjoy the experience with either music, or a glass a wine, including the kids in the prep process so they are excited and learning as well).  I also imagine once I have a dishwasher (and maybe a food processor), this whole thing will get easier as well.  There are so many amazing foods and herbs out there that I love incorporating into meals:  coconut milk, ginger root, raw honey, cumin, mint, leeks....  Other thoughts of the moment:  I started my first SPIN (stationary bike) class at the Y yesterday.  A girlfriend of mine instructs it and I have been wanting to try it and finally scheduling, kids and the universe have all come into sync so that I may experience this class.   It was fun!  I look forward to the next one.  Nothing like exercising to the YMCA song while you are actually at the YMCA. hehe.   House News:  So, I am pouting just a little bit, feeling kind of disappointed, angry, frustrated, annoyed.... the closing for our new house has been delayed for a few days.   It is only a few days and I know in the big picture, in the big scheme of things that it is truly no big deal to wait a few more days additional to the original plan, but...we have been doing a count down...and constantly so anticipate starting the process of the next chapter of our lives....and to be put on hold a little bit longer and adding days to what we already counted down....I just can't help but pout a little bit.  It's not like I don't have enough to do to keep me busy in the meantime and I know it will be here before we know it so I just need to wrap my brain cells around that knowledge.  I should immerse myself back into the packing process.  I got overloaded stepped back and now must get back into the right mode.  I am really missing painting.  I want to go to the storage unit, rip open my supply boxes and just whip up a painting or two....but I know that would be totally counter productive to what I am trying to accomplish here.  My camera lightening is not working properly, either my pictures are coming out too light or too dark so sorry if my pictures are not up to par these days.  I am wondreing if it's something fixable, I hope so.  I am so loving the goats milk soaps that we have gotten from the farmers market.  I can't wait to start making my own soaps (probalby in the fall).  I am loving the song:  Sing Out by Cat Stevens.  How did I not KNOW this song before?   Well, I have rambled enough for one sitting....Hope All Is Well in Your Neck of the Giraffe.  Until our paths cross again , may your leaves be plentiful and your Sun be Shiny. :)

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Something's Fishy

 Last weekend we decided to pack up the fam and stop at farm and fleet.  Bought fishing licenses (I don't know why I got a license, I held the pole for 37 seconds before I realized I would have to attend to Olivia and keep her from Jumping off of the dock the whole time)...and some gear and head on down the road to a fishin' hole we know of.  It was a glorious day with beauty all abound. 
 The Fishing Pros
 I made them all wear hats for my viewing delight. 
 Noah bought this straw hat at farm and fleet.  He is excited to get it for fishing, gardening...etc... I was excited when it fell in the lake and started to float away....but he retrieved it before it was too late. 
Several hours & 2 Fish later and our outing was complete.  (hungry tired children and exhausted mom).  The fish were caught by the straw hat man, the kids got several bites, seaweed and even caught a few logs.  I wormed one pole.  2 people peed in the woods, 3 did not.  Olivia took charge of the snacks...and nobody wanted anything after that...especially with string cheese bits and raisins floating in the water bottles.  Olivia screamed with excitement every time she saw a bird near by.  Joy.  Pure Joy.   No, seriously, it was nice to get away for a little bit and breathe in this beautiful creation.  It was also nice to be homeward bound.

So, I proved to myself that I could really get our house clean.  I worked like a maniac (with kids and dog undoing as I went along) for our first showing and I must say it was so lovely to have the house so clean....even if it was only for an hour.   Tomorrow we have a possible renter (someone Noah knows) coming to look at the house.  We are open to whatever scenario presents itself well.  I must get in the super cleaning mode again...maybe later.    I have not packed one box since last week.  I was on this total burnout.  I got some more packing tape and plenty of boxes so I will attempt to do at least a couple today.  Considering that we have approx. 20 days until we are to get the keys to our new front door!!!! (approx. 20 days til I get a dishwasher).   This summer is shaping up to be extremely busy thus far.  This past week I had jury duty (got released 2 hours into it as I was not one of the chosen few (AWESOME) and I also had a visit to the eye Dr ($640.00 later), I will be picking up my contacts and new glasses next week - whoah!!!!).  It's supposed to be a warm/hot one today.  I started reading Treasure Island to the kids at night.  I never knew that is where Long John Silver came from....and he was a "bad" guy. hehe.   I miss painting.  All my art stuff is packed.  I've been sketching a few ideas here and there.  I signed up for a spin (cycling exercise class) / bible study for the summer.  Excited to be with some wonderful women.  I miss seeing my friends!  Since school has let out and all the house/moving prep..etc...I haven't seen anyone in days, weeks...months! hehe.   Kids have been catching lightening bugs...and I have too.  It's been so fun!  Just takes me back to catching them in my back yard as a youngin with my jar....anywho I took some pics but I think they are still on my camera.  Snap peas are up in the garden.  I have been having the kids help pick them and I think they are actually enjoying it.  They eat them quicker then we pick them! I better get something done while I have my coffee high.  Wishing you a beautiful Saturday whatever your plans may be!