Sunday, September 10, 2006

1st day of school



(photo 1. waiting in line for school to start, photo 2. afterschool)

I have not updated in a long while! Feels like I have not been on the computer in forever. (doesnt help that the internet was out for a week!)...anyway...Today felt like a good day to update. It's Sunday, it's raining outside (it almost feels like fall!)..

1st day of (2-morning) PRESCHOOL!
Isabelle has been talking about going to school all summer, and finally the day arrived (aug. 24). She was so excited to go! The night before we packed her backpack together with all her supplies, we picked out her snack and then we layed out her new school clothes (most exciting part, strawberry shortcake mary jane shoes - thanks grandma!). We arrived at school the next morning, and she was so thrilled by the whole experience! She couldnt wait to talk to her teachers and meet new friends and go inside and work on projects and play! When it was time to go in (8:45), she kissed me and waved good bye. As she was just one bouncing pigtailed head in the line of children disapearing out of my site, into a whole new world...I felt the bittersweetness of it all. My little girl, leaving me to explore something new...without me. All I could think was, take good care of my baby... I left...(even though part of me just wanted to wait on the sidewalk right there for her to come out, I figured, I must go. I was happy at least, that she was happy. She was not frightened or scared, that I would not be there with her. She was just fine. 11:15 came.. and I wasn't prepared...for my overwhelming emotions... The class came out holding a rope together in line and Isabelle was first in line with a big smile on her face. The kids marched out with hats they made on their little heads. All you could hear was screams of Mommy! and waves of hands and then the running of the masses.... great grand hugs took place between all the children and their parents...and tears rolled down my cheeks...I couldnt control how I felt. I was so proud of her and so happy for her and I just could not concept until that very moment how big she really is now. How, I have to let go. How I have to trust in her and trust in the world that everything is going to be o.k. I realized all the wonderful things she will be learning and experincing and all the opportunities that she will have. I thought about how she will also come across more moments and situations of getting hurt and feeling sad and disappointed and scared...but mostly I thought about how much I love this little person. How much she has changed me and my life in so many ways and how she has let me be something so wonderful in this world....her mother. So, yeah 2 morning preschool may sound like no big deal...but let me tell you a little secret...it is a big deal...a really big deal.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a heart tugging time you described. It had me tearing up in the public library, congrats, sincerely,
Mr. Anonymous.

sally said...

Wow. i cried when I read your description of belle going to school, and how you perfectly described the feelings that completely overwhelm you when you experience this. I feel the exact same way about my little boys, but you managed to put it into words! thank you for sharing your feelings.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could have been there. I have tears in my eyes as I write. God bless Belle ("Little Cheryl") on her journey through life. How much she reminds me of you - similar but different. And God Bless Ben and Noah and Mom too. We are a blessed family.

Love, Aunt Chris