Radishes

 I give Ben his own dresser.  It only has 3 drawers.  He dedicates one drawer to socks, one to underwear and one to costumes.  I should have known.

 We really enjoyed the butterflies.  We let them go shortly after birth so they could live the life that they were intended. 

 Recntly the kids made these warm fuzzy's.  All of Bens had extra eyes on them.  Isabelle was so excited to give hers to some special friends.

 I think that Olivia confuses Little People with her bink.

Yesterday Ben caught a toad and he announced that he wasn't even gonna kill it!  But heres the thing, he wont let it go either....I tried to get him to do so last night and he cried.  He said he wants to keep him for a pet.  So anway, we have some challenging talking to do.  :)

Sorry to family and friends that I haven't been around much via phone/ computer.  I am having a very hard time find any peace or  quiet or calm these days.  I have seriously just been feeling overwhelmed by the chaos around me.  Little sleep & The kids are on full energy mode....there are so many messes, and tasks, and projects and events... with the end of the school year coming on....everything is coming to a wrap like a whirlwind.  A storm before the calm.  So, I hope to get my act together in the upcoming weeks so I can prepare for a low stress yet fun summer.  The most amazing news is that I have started a mural at my friend's house for her daughter's room....and I can't even explain how fun and exciting this project has been for me so far.  Today, I start the actual painting (she already let me draw on her walls, brave soul!).   The first thing has popped up from the garden:  Radishes and the baby is up (again) and I haven't even made any coffee yet.  Good day everyone.

Wishing Flowers

 What a cute little troublemaker.

 This stool I painted in distressed style.

 The hatching of the Butterflies.  So, we thought the one caterpillar did not survive, but it did!  5 butterflies joined us this weekend.  It was awesome.  We have been enjoying watching them.  A few more days and we will let them go into the wild blue yonder.

 This is what this kid does to me all day every day.  She climbs and destroys.  She is always up to something distructive, distmanteling...along those lines.  I tell her NO NO and she points her finger and yells at me and continues on with her agenda.

Not only do I get yellow dandelions, lilacs, strawberry plants, worms and whatever else Ben finds around the yard....Ben likes to bring me an occasional Wishing Flower.  He tells me it's so I can wish for something good.  Here is my current wish:  I wish I could sleep.  It is almost 4 a.m. and i have been up since about 2.  My mind is racing with a million and 4 things.  I cant settle down.  My eyes are burning the last couple days...Ive had to take my contacts out, I have no clue what is goign on//causing this.  They are red and irriated right now.  I am praying in the morning they will be better.  It's been a rainy weekend and thats been so fine with me cuz I am trying to get chores done.  I swear I cannot keep up with the daily things and it leaves little time for much else.  ugh.  Nothing like the smell of wet dog in the house.  fun stuff.   I overheard Isabelle and Ben playing earlier and Ben directs --> "Isabelle, pretend I am an Eagle in my nest and you need to try and kill me."  Speaking of Eagles, the other day when a bird I wasn't sure to identify came to the feeder, I said outloud, I wonder what that is and Ben asnwered very matter of factly, "oh, that is probably an Eagle Bluebird".    I love that when Ben is asked his favorite color he usually answers "Every color in the world".   Sometimes I wish I never discovered Planters Trail Mix - Alaskin Wilderness Blend.  These weeks coming up are to determined to be very busy.  I need to make lists and prioritize.  Theres so much to get done with the ending of things and beginning of others.  I guess that is all for now, I shall reattempt sleep.  Happy Sunday.

Orange

It's not every day that a Baltimore Oriole (or 2) arrive at my feeders.  These orange birds actually like to eat Oranges. So this is just a quick update as my mind is overwhelmed with tasks.  Ben insisted on making my bed this a.m.  Noah rode his bike to work.  Isabelle did her own hair in pony tails and Olivia managed to get into all the dvds and distribute them all over the living room.  Our first butterfly has emerged from it's cocoon.  The weather has been way too warm as of late.  Luckily there seems to be a breeze today.   I think I will make banana bread this morning.  Been thinking about painting alot.  Working on my website (link on the side).  Beautiful blooms are growing all around the house (lilacs, cherry blosooms, etc).  The seedlings from the garden are already budding through the ground. Major project for today:  continue The Great Closet Clean Out.  I should probably pay my (unjust) library fine, so I can get books again.   I need more painting Gesso and we are out of olive oil and I still have not replaced my broken toaster.  I have gotten so many Dandelions picked for me everyday...I am so blessed!  Have a beautiful day. :) 

4 out of 5 aint bad

 This is a painting that I made for our bathroom.  This is the same floor we have and we have these black and white polka dot towels.  So it was fun to recreate those aspects on canvas.  I wanted something fun for the kids, so I thought this concept would work.  The adults seem to like it too. :)

 Ben picked a recipe that he wanted to make out of his Disney Kids Cookbook.  So, I got the ingredients and we had fun putting these together.  I forgot what they are called:  Something Chicken Cups. Actually, they were not bad.  We might do them again.

 I recently caught Isabelle doing her homework in her room, with something special upon her noggin.

 I didn't even have this hummingbird feeder up for a day, and surprise!  A visitor!

Here is Ben helping me fill the birdfeeders. 

Just a few notes as the day comes to a close.  Today was mostly decent, but also got hard at points.  I am exhausted. 4 out of the 5 caterpillars have now cocooned themselves.  I think 1 is dead.  I've been seeing tons of different birds at my feeders lately...so I started taking more pics (they will be on my bird blog).   I am praying Olivia's eye cold/infection goes away overnight so I can attend bible study tomorrow.  I am taking the kids to the denist tomorrow.  The kids are loving a new egg dish that I have been making them for breakfast lately.  It's special and easy.  Like an egg souffle I would say.  I am sick of freezing.  I can't believe how cold it has been, but at least the sun was shining today and it did get a little nicer.  It's garbage night.  I watched Tangle with the kids last night...I must say, what a cute little movie.   O.k., we have to hit the hay.  Goodnight ya all.

PeacE at the ParK

Who knows where the paths we walk upon will take us? Which ways they will turn? Where the wind blows? What we will meet along the way, if we will get lost? if we will run or get rained on? Unexpected delightful surprises await. Tripping, skipping, resting...discovering.....The hill is hard...but, oh when you have reached the top, isn't that amazing? breathless and amazing! These paths are somewhat predictable...but more so, they are unknown. A little scary for sure. But, the only way to experience the path, is to make a step and then the next step and trust that it will get you somewhere worth going.

Baby girl enjoyed our morning walk at the park despite she has a cold or something in her eyes. The cool fresh air did wonders for the both of us.

If anyone ever doubts God's presence (or presents), they should go visit nature in the early morning. The beautiful creations all around you, whisper in your ear: You are Loved. I made this for: You.

This morning, It was Olivia and I alone, so I brought my ipod with on the journey. I didn't even have the slightest desire to turn it on. The thoughts and emotions and peace that came to my mind and heart, were more than enough. In the silence, I found some answers. In the quiet of the earth, I felt the peace that I have seeked and needed for these last several days.

Time runs wild. But, once in a while, we do need to attempt to catch it for a few moments at least. Long enough to put a smile upon our face, peace in our heart and a hug to our soul. Note: I know this post may seem deep and mushy, but it had to be done. good day!

1st Holy Communion

This Sunday was such a special day for us. Isabelle made her 1st Holy Communion. She has been preparing for this day all year and we were all so excited upon it's arrival. I am so proud of my beautiful amazing Isabelle. I am so thankful for the blessings of our wonderful family who helped us celebrate this day.

tots

We are all enjoying the process of our caterpillars growing...soon to be butterflies.

The baby evalulating her loot from that rabbit.

Ben being goaly with our new soccer net.

The last day of SpRinG soccer for Ben & Belle.

Princess Livy in the Royal Gardens enjoying in the lovely afternoon. ----There's a tator-tot casserole in my oven as I type. "DON't touch my tots!" (napoleon dynomite quote - one of my all time favorite movies...Ever! But, quite Seriously, this is a good & easy casserole to whip together when you are feeling uninspired in the kitchen area. So, you fill it...and they will come. They will come! My Goldfinches have arrived! None, nowhere...and then, boom! 5 on my feeder at once like a magical wonderment. Then Lance barked like a maniac because of someone he spotted out the front window....and they were gone. They flew like wildfire. Gone. But, they will be back. I know they will be back. They came and they will return to me. I am working on a painting for my bathroom that I can't wait to finish. Almost done. Let's just say it includes bacon...kind of sort of. Blackbird fly into the light of the dark black night. Room Exchange: So, our interior room paintings have concluded. Isabelle now has her own room, Ben and Olivia share and Noah and I have our own room (minus Olivia now). I spent the entire day putting Isabelle's room together so I could surprise her when she got home from school. Seriously, I almost started crying. I just love that she has her own space now and it's so "girly". I also was quite moved by the fact that we have finally set up Olivia's crib (instead of the pack in play - yeah seriously) now that we have the room. Let me report that she has already been sleeping better. She bounces in it, she loves it. I just hope she doesn't learn to crawl out of it too quickly. I asked Isabelle to think about what kind of painting she wants me to do for her new room. She said she already thought about it and she will write it down. This is exactly what she wrote: {{{{a pinck scky ah four fariy playing to gether and stars in the sky and the houses for the fariy's and let it say fariy are awsum. }}}}} I think I could so take on this assignment. Ben just came in crying because he has noone to "do his circus" . Mother's instinct, I pick stuff out of his ear and he toots and that's my life and that's o.k. The flowers on my table are dying. One of my paintings is in an auction this weekend and I am a little nervous about that. Today, while I was waiting for Isabelle to get out of school, I looked to the sky. It was rainy and stormy and I see four balloons way up high...rush by. One white. Three in different shades of purple. At the same time lyrics on the radio sing to me: "he will carry me". Now, Isn't that the truth and hasn't it always been? So, we are preparing for Isabelle's 1st Communion and I asked all our guests if they had a 1st Communion pic of themselves , to bring it. Naturally, I must include mine....and I find mine and what is so wonderfully special in my photo? Is that there is a big gap in my mouth, a missing space....a tooth begone....the same exact place that Isabelle is lacking a tooth right now. I think it will be so fun to see all the relatives pics and it sounds like quite a few have found theirs. The kids received caterpillars for Easter. They are growing like superheros. We go through papertowels like water. I put the bib on her , she takes it off. On off. On off. and so on. I give up. That's o.k., afterall - that's what wash machines & brooms are for. And as usual, she's lucky is is cute. goodnight moon. *****Edited to say: As the evening closed in and I was preparing the children for slumber, I noticed...in the woods...a deer. I called the children to come and watch this creature at dusk. There was not one deer, but we discovered --four! Four beautiful animals, peacefully wandering nearby...We watched them and discussed them...and then Ben brought up a time he remembers when he was young and he was a child, and he put Isabelle's fairy wand in his mouth and then there was blood everywhere. ((as I said, earlier - goodnight)).

HAPPY Easter.

that rabbit

I was really happy with how this little painting turned out. From one of my favorite Children's Books: The Velveteen Rabbit. Now that I am a parent, I understand and love this story on such a deeper level. :) Ben wants me to hang it in his room because he says that "it's cute and I'm cute, that's why".

Olivia just loves jumping on the Isabelle and Ben's bean bag chairs. She is also quite fond of this: That's Not My Fairy! book. I think cuz it's magical.

Yesterday, Ben decided that he wanted to dress "HANDSOME" for school. This is the wonderful attire that Ben pulled together. He was quite proud. He even brushed his hair as you can see. :)

The Sun, the SUN!!! - Has finally decided to rejoin us. Amazing how a little shine can brighten up an existance. Isabelle saw "HOP" yesterday with her brownie troop and she loved it. The goldfinches still have not discovered that I have food for them. But, I have faith. Speaking of Faith, Bible Study was very good today (even though I didn't finish my homework and I was missing some very super people!). I wish I could take a nap, I am tired. I am wearing my torn up garden sandles and I don't care. They are ugly, but they are comfortable and today I feel like comfortable. I wish the 12 year old neighbor girl didn't think it was such a great idea to go ahead and tell my 7 year old and my 4 year old children that there is no Easter Bunny and then explain how the process is done. Honestly, this ignorance enrages me. Who the heck do you think you are and how would you like it if I crushed all your magical dreams when you were younger, how about I have a talk with your little 5 year old sister? Didn't anyone teach you, that's fine and dandy if you don't believe, but don't try to ruin it for others? What is wrong with you? Seriously, I want to knock this kid out next time I see her (and I just might!). I hope that I turned the situation around. I did my best to explain to Isabelle and Ben, that some people believe and some people dont, etc...but still...now there are unnecessary doubts in their precious little noggins. Ugh. Speaking of the Easter Bunny, word has it this year that he may be bringing some: Butterflies & a Soccer Net! The Easter Rabbit is beyond awesome in my opinion. I love the smell of Tide. I can't believe it is nearing time to pick the kid up from school. Wow, this day went fast with little accomplished. Oh well, at least the SUN is shining!

A Little Rain Fallen

Togetherness Birds.
Stacked Party Animals are always fun.
Painted clipboard completed.

This year's painted Easter Eggs.
Eggscellent.

*What a rollarcoaster of days it has been. Weather wise, perfect spring to freezing cold snow/rain. Life in general wise: up & down. *I put Goldfinch seed out a few days ago, but they have not discovered it yet. *I decided to cut bangs. The jury is still out whether I like them or not. I think I do. *Olivia had her 1 year dr. appt. She's doing swell. *Love Johnny Cash's song: Hurt. *I need some new paint brushes. *There are 4 bags of sugar on my counter. (for bee food). *Tonight, Noah is coming home from a Texas business trip. *Ben is hoping he will bring a horse with him. *I think we might have hardboiled eggs for dinner tonight. *If you follow every dream you might get lost. *I like brown paper bags with handles. *I should really do some laundry. In fact I am sitting underneath a pile as I type. *I'm wearing a Captin America bandaid. *If I was going to San Fransico, I don't know if I would wear flowers in my hair. *Got Ben the Charlie Brown movie: Happiness is a Warm Blanket. *There's a greenhouse in my kitchen: sprouts have started. It's promising. *I want to go dance in the river. I don't know where the nearest river is. *Besides, it's raining - I would get wet. Goodnight. :)

Flying Grapes

(Easter Rabbits for your viewing pleasure)

So, all kids are in bed (for now) and the dog is out on the back deck. Noah is on his way home (business trip). For various reasons, today kind of unfolded like a nightmare from early this morning until now. I hate feeling this way. Angry, Anxious, Sad & Overwhelmed. Today didn't go so well and I didn't handle things the best that I could have. I chose the path that I am not proud of. Tired is a factor, but it is no excuse. I yelled and I swore and for that I am very sorry. In the end, hopefully, lessons were learned by us all and tomorrow is a new day. I also took another look at my coffee table mess photo. Truly, that is no mess..it is something to be grateful for. The coffee table in that picture is filled with reminders of the Bright, Creative, Beautiful, Playful Children of my life. Children whose spirits can fill a heart with so much joy in a moment's notice. Children who may leave their "stuff " out everywhere...but someday....that stuff won't be there anymore and I know that I will miss it dearly. Now, if I want to complain and share about true messes....there are some smashed peas and grapes on my floor...heck, I even found a piece of grape in my keyboard tonight. Another true mess...my hair. Goodnight.

Time-outs

I think it's super swell when I have fruit and flowers at the same time. Makes things feel all warm and cozy and homey and nurishing and lovely and such.

This is my coffee table at current state of existance. Messes like this honestly: drive me nuts. But, I have learned that I have to let it go and let it be (at least for a bit) cuz I can't control these forces that are against me. They have the power and persuasion. I am just here, holding my breath and accepting what I cannot change (until they are in bed at least).

Sweet Moment: Sitting in the school parking lot a few minutes before pick up time, I notice Ben and one of his teachers coming around the corner of the building together. Ben is holding a fist full of Dandelions. I assume they are for me (and they are). I think about how fortunate we are, that Ben has such a compassionate teacher (Ben told me he was crying and she helped him find some flowers for me) and I think about how blessed I am that my little boy has a heart of thoughtfulness and giving.

...here's that same little boy in a time-out today.

Time Outs. Sometimes I wish I could have a time out or 2. Like just a little bit ago...when Isabelle came in the house with her glasses...broken. The neighbor girl tried them on (took them off her head without asking), completely stretched them out and has basically broken them. I don't know what the hell she did to them! (excuse my hell). They are majorly screwed up! they won't stay on Isabelles head, they won't even stay on mine! Why did she even touch them in the first place? I am angry. Let's even say: livid. I yell at Isabelle that they are expensive and they are NOT a toy and the girl had NO business touching them! I yell at Isabelle and she cries. (instead I should have just took a run through the woods and screamed my head off and came back...but then noone would watch the baby and she would get everything out of the cabinets and dip her hands in the toliet and she would probably get a hold of the glasses and break them some more, so actually it was best I did not take off). Isabelle is sobbing and I am so angry. This is right now and I must calm down. I am hoping that I can fix the glasses properly. I need to breathe. I feel like a horrible jerk being so mad, but I AM mad! I need to go make dinner, I will update on the situation later. Just shar'in some real life. This is it, in all its glory. Uncontrolable Messes, Time-outs, Broken Glasses...and some Dandelions as the Saving Grace of the moment. I am thankful for Dandelions and the little hands that picked them...I am hopeful for some precious Time-Ins to repair not only a pair of glasses, but also a little girl's broken heart.

My Baby Turns: One!

On April 12th, Olivia Helen turned One Years Old! Here she shows us HOW BIG she is! She did NOT like the hat.

This is why I should leave the cake making up to the pros.

But, I guess she seemed to like it any way!

This day was so bittersweet for me. So happy that this little girl is growing up. Each step, Each day is a new and exciting (and challenging sometimes) adventure. I love seeing her turning into a real little person...whom thinks and interacts and plays and develops...but I know that with each new Step, that her babyhood is being left behind. This makes me sad...but I am so excited to see who this little girl will become. Olivia, we cherish and adore you. You are so loved and we are so blessed. Happy Birthday Baby!