Walk into Autumn

 "In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks" - John Muir

 A few days ago, I had a really tough day with the kids.  Just one of those days when you feel like a failed parent and you wonder what the heck you got yourself into placing these little people on the planet.  Well, the next morning (yesterday), I woke up and decided I really needed some alone time (which does not happen too often), so - I went for a walk to our creek and through the woods....I breathed in the amazing crisp air and listened to the birds all around me and flying above my head.  It was so peaceful and so beautiful and so exciting at the same time.  I know it sounds silly, but it truly means the world to me when I slow down and realize all that I have and all that there is around me.  I need to take these little walks more often.  Simple and Beautiful Life.

This is the turkey that Noah harpooned this week.  Yes, we will be eating him on Saturday if anyone would like to join us.  Just a note:  Turkey's still have not returned to our yard...but we did see a buck yesterday morning!  good thing Noah had a coffee mug in his hand.

Here is my babe, strutting her stuff with her confident walk and smile to boot.  I love this little girl.  She is so strong willed that it totally wears me out by the end of the day....but she is such a special monster, and she is mine.  Last night , I was having trouble putting her to bed, so I sent the other kids downstairs and read lots of books with her and stayed right next to her until she mad it to the land of nod.  I left the room realizing, that quite often I don't that extra time with her these days...to read and hug, just the two of us.  I need to do that every day.  Besides, I don't think she will give me a choice. :)  ---- So, I was up around 5:30 this morning and the dogs wanted to go out.  I thought, man I don't want to let them out.  It's so cold and so dark...but I of course, did let them out, bundled up and let them loose and to my surprise the most beautiful night sky awaited above.  Blackness and bright stars all about....a moon that was just awesome.   Normally, I drink coffee in the morning.  Today, I decided to have some apple cinnamon tea with honey.  Good choice, I think.  I think it's going to be a good day.

Leaves and Bees

October gave a party.  The leaves by hundreds came - The Chestnuts, Oaks and Maples, and leaves of every name.  The sunshine spread a carpet, and everything was grand, Miss Weather led the dancing, Professor Wind, the band. - George Cooper (October's Party).

You just never know what you may come across walking about the house.

Finally!  Fall Honey Extraction.  We are hoping by the next batch, that we can start selling it!  How fun.  (this process does get extremely messy/sticky by the way....but it sure is sweet).

It is very difficult to get the kids out of our bed these days.  It has become "the hangout" for comfort and reading on these chilly nights.

Noah (with a bow and arrow), shot one of these yesterday.  I have pics just haven't loaded them yet.  The kids were so excited and watched the entire process of  "field dressing", prep , etc... They were not sad or grossed out in anyway.  I was a bit sad, although of course, I know it's the circle of life and such....Just wonder if the turkey's will make their way back to our yard again, or if they will choose to avoid.   So weird: one moment the bird is in my backyard, now its in my fridge in a pot of water.

The puppies are growing so fast.  They are doing great at training.  This is Rose.  She is proving to be the more feisty of the two.  But, she loves to snuggle.  Scout loves to play!!  He especially loves to play: take something away from Rose...and run!  I enjoy watching and being with the kids and the dogs out in the yard, playing free and crazy....fresh air, beautiful earth.  School is going well for the most part these days.  I think we have some of our challenges worked out and are getting into somewhat of a routine.  This week, I had a wonderful visit with one of my homeschooling friends.  She is a blessing and I admire her greatly - she inspires me in many ways.   Well, we have 2 of our 5 family members Halloween costumes decided on and purchased.  Just trying to decide the final 3.  Keep going back and forth with a few scenarios.

 Also recently, Uncle Al came for a visit on his Harley!  We also just learned that his dog, Huntley got a part in an upcoming episode of the t.v. show:  Chicago Fire.  I have been cooking like crazy lately, trying all different recipes.  I made a great Paleo Pumpkin Pie that the family loved!  Some other recent new paleo meals were: stuffed cabbage, pork apple sliders, pumpkin custard, grain free granola, bacon wrapped chicken thighs and others I cannot think of at the moment...but by far one of the favorite new recipes that is requested quite often is: Pumpkin Pancakes.  I found these really cute ramekins to use for all the custards and such.  Also, soon I will be trying a chicken pot pie which I thought those dishes would be perfect for.  I am so thankful to have a dishwasher nowadays.  The cub scout is still selling popcorn.  Ben will soon be contacting those who said they wanted to order to tell them what he's got to offer!  (sorry we have been sluggish about doing this).  Guess, I should go do something....what I do not know.  Maybe make a grocery list...or take a shower before the troops are up...uh oh, too late.

happiness WARM puppy

 Finished a painting of my Olivia & Rose.  Titled:  Happiness is a warm puppy. (charles shultz)

 Isabelle and Ben call this carrying the Princess.

 Ben riding his bike!

 Ben falling off of his bike :)

A Random Deer.
The pups do not like the deer nor the turkey.  They bark bark bark at them.   They all stare at each other in a frozen stance for a while and then all animals go about their business as if they never noticed each other.  I love when the puppies are tired and lay on each other. So cute - got to get a pic.  I guess that makes up for that fact that we are going through a lot of papertowels these days.  Ben has a loose tooth. His first one!  We had taco salad for dinner.  My hands smell like onion.  Today, I stood out in the autumn wind and the bright sun, and I breathed in the earth and I was at peace.  I thanked the lord for my many gifts. I think we will all hit the hay early tonight, we are getting so worn and tired these days, on the verge of colds.  Tomorrow we need to get up early for dog training.  Can't wait to jump into bed tonight -  I started reading a book that I find very interesting:  Rin Tin Tin.  :)  Well, Ben wants me to go set his alarm clock, so I suppose I must go as there are other things to attend to as well.  Happy Weekend.

step into the light, everything will be alright

 Ben snuggling Scout.  The puppies are growing so fast already!  I can't believe that they have already been with us for two weeks.  Their personalities are shining through and it is exciting to see them develop.  It is so fun to see them interact with the kids and with each other.  They are a handful no doubt....but quite honestly, I am quite enjoying it.  Sure they are trouble, but sometimes in life....trouble is what gets us to become awake when we have been sleeping for too long.  Trouble is what opens our hearts and our minds to the possibilities that await.   I like that they are trouble.  I hope that they won't be too much trouble. Only time will tell. :)

 Speaking of Trouble - Olivia (playing in the bird bath) and Rose (chewing something).  Both causing trouble and not listening to come in when called.  Misc. Notes:  This crazy circus just keeps on growing!  oh well, can't say that I am bored.  I do kind of secretly hope the fish dies so I can gain some counter space back.  These days have been a whirlwind.  I invite the cool breezes that whisper to me that Autumn is coming.  I love that Olivia calls sponge bob: bob bob.  Ben has learned to ride his two wheeler officially.  Isabelle is dancing like a fool to her ipod music.  Our school is having its ups and downs.  I always feel like we are not doing enough, but maybe we are.  Noah is on a business trip and I hate when he is away.  I feel anxious and sad.  I hear the cool wind outside.  I hear an owl.  I hear the puppies chomping on their food.  I hear Olivia saying: up up up up.  I think her butt might stink.  got to check into that.  We had baked sweet potatoes and turkey for dinner.  Olivia is now singing and I can no longer hear the wind or the owl.  Isabelle just thanked me for dinner, how sweet that girl is.  There are books spread all over my counter as we did school upstairs today for a change of pace.  I think that worked pretty well...but really what do I know?  I do know that I have some very muddy shoes and clothes to clean for Ben since he played in the creek and collected clams half of Sunday.  My little wild boy.  Olivia just stole all the ice packs out of the freezer.  Wonder what her plan is.  Every day I think about how I want to paint, but every day ends with me never making it that far...maybe I do a sketch of an idea...but that is as far as I get.   Maybe tomorrow will be different.  Maybe tomorrow, I will get further.  Create.  Create.  The word echoes through my soul...and I know I should listen....I know I should...but, the end of the day, beats me every
time.

Olivia eating a Paleo / gluten-free chocolate cookie and loving it!  For those who think that my children get no treats or "special" snacks...they do.  This is a homemade cookie that is made with great healthy stuff that won't hurt their tummies or make them feel sick.  I feel good giving it to them and they enjoy eating them.  Isabelle helped me make these!  She was so excited because she loves to cook/bake and she loves trying new recipes.  I think about what is best for my children every moment that I am awake and breathing and alive. This is my job.  I am not cheating them or mistreating them. My children are not on a diet.  They are not restricted food if they are hungry, they are just restricted of food that we don't feel is best for their precious growing bodies.  I feel so good giving them healthy meals.  My children have so many wonderful choices/opportunities and I am so excited for them.  I sure have a lot to learn on this (not so easy) journey, but the more I learn, the more I understand and the more I look forward to this path and our next meal together :).

Vida la Vida

 Isabelle & Rose at Dog Training this weekend.  What a great morning.  Everyone was a superstar and we even got some sun.   To see all these amazing beautiful dogs together, it was breathtaking.

 Sunday Dinner:  Duck...Cabbage...and Wine of course.

 Scavenger Hike Nature Walk - Just in case you didn't know...Ben's adventurism... kind of makes me a tad nervous at times.  He is ALL boy.  My climbing creative little guy....who makes my heart stop, but makes my heart filled to the brim and spill over.

 We are calling Liv: the DOG WHISPERER...these days.  The puppy handler...director...boss...controller...might be appropriate along those lines as well.   She just loves her new puppies!  Do they look scared?   Um....I think they are getting used to her "snuggles".

Spiderman in the middle of my peaceful bamboo plant.  Seriously?  Dominoes falling in great crashes around me.  This is the chaos of my daily life.  I thrive in peace and order and that does not exist here.   Do I exist here?  I do not know.   My reality is taken for a sailboat ride in a thunderstorm every single day. Pulled in so many directions at once.  I love it, yet it makes me want to puke.   Just something I had to get used to.  Something I had to accept.  Some days, yes some days are easier then others.  Those are the days that we put on the tunes and dance our way through making dinner and the evening hours.  Other days, I struggle not to cry.  Not because things are bad or horrible in any way...just because my selfish self doesn't have things in the way that I would find ideal.  My house is not neat or orderly, I have basically no free/me time.  This gets to me sometimes.  But, I chose this life and I am blessed by the demands that are placed upon me although I dont always realize this when I should.   Most the time I am ok, but sometimes....it all gets me down. Overwhelmed & drowning.   This circus of chaos that I cannot control, it exhausts me and I do not feel that I am enough or ever will be..  But then I ask myself, why do I have to control it?  Who cares?  Seriously.  What rules say that I have to do this or that?  If I could just let go of the restrictions and musts that I place upon myself, than maybe I could enjoy a smidge more instead of getting frustrated with all the time that slips away without my goals, plans and dreams even a glint in the moment of the day.  I hate that time runs fast away from me.  I hate that the children grow so quick.  I hate that I can't give them more of me. I know that I shouldn't hate, but I do.  I hate that I now have grey hair among other things.   I am so afraid of not being able to do , what I need to do.  I am feeling so challenged in so many ways and feel like I am failing a whole lot these days.  I need to have patience, I need  to have strength, I need to have understanding, I need to have wisdom...so I pray for these things.  That is all I know how to do.  I pray that I survive and that I thrive and maybe along the way that I truly do something good and worthy and important, that I make some kind of difference along the way in this crazy world.  In this time in which I seem like nothing...but maybe, just maybe I am much more than that.  Laughter, Tears, Screams and Joy....I am here, through it all....creating it, accepting it, loving it, hating it....being it.  I truly love my life.....I just pray that I learn how to TRULY LOVE MY LIFE.  I need to let go and let love.  I know this.  Let Love.  Let Love.  Let Love.

Nature with us

 Early Evening Deer (did I mention that Noah got a bow and arrow and wants to shoot these beautiful creatures and I, just want to shoot them with my camera.....different strokes for different folks I suppose).

 Beautiful Blue Jay.  This is the "bully" of the feathered world....watch out and move out of the way when this giant, bright bird makes it's arrival.

 Night Sky - wow, that amazing moon behind the clouds .  love it.

 Blue Eyed Boy child caught a grasshopper today.  :)

Boy child picked a flower for his mother, his little sister thieved it.

Yes, I do believe I like this Camera.

 I am in LOVE....with my new camera!  (above, one of my very favorite birds - chickadee). This morning has been so quiet and beautiful.  I saw a mommy and baby deer frolicking together - the baby kept tagging the mom and running away and coming back. The sun is shining bright.   The kids are mostly still sleeping.  My coffee wasn't bitter.  My thoughts are not bitter.  I was just thinking about how I have not seen any "new" or "different" birds lately and an Oriole (orange and black) appears on the back deck and stares at me!    Wow.  Little miracles around us all the time.  Little signs of hope to hold onto.  Things that tell us, we are ok....we are going to all be o.k.  Just do what we can in this moment.

 Hummingbirds come to this flower all the time.  It is awesome.

 oh, speaking of...here's one now. hehe  Pic is taken through the screen but I still like it!

 Our bees are finally moved here.  Now all we need is a Bit Of Honey. :).  Below:   This is our backyard and here are the kids walking to the creek.  We decided to go for a little stroll in the woods.  SO, yes I am loving my new camera (I did not love when we were at the store and Honey Badger knocked down an entire display of ipad cases, but we survived).   Happy Saturday!

Blessed by Three.

While we try to teach our Children all about Life,

Our Children teach us what Life is all about.

- Schwindt

How true is this quote? Every single day I learn so much from these sticky loud little people. They consume my thoughts and my arms and my heart. I must have done something right along the way to deserve such gifts in this lifetime. Thank you, Lord. They are the brightest lights on the darkest days. They fill my soul with joy. My prayers for my children are constant and faithful. I know that the greatest thing I can and will ever do in this world, is to :Love & Cherish:

Isabelle, Benjamin & Olivia

...and on a less mushy and non-serious note,
I will leave you with this:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children she didn't know what to do.

She gave them some broth without any bread.

She whipped them all well and put them to bed.

THE END.

Sunday Morning Thoughts

This is a Little Girl Dress Greeting Card in my new Etsy Shop. So, I have offically re-opened an Etsy Shop. Instead of opening up my old shop, I started a new one for a fresh start...I linked my old store so I would have feedback history and items sold history....I have been gone a while...and I know it takes a time to build up someting new...but I am letting myself feel a little discouraged already. I know I don't have time to make lots of stuff for it..I dont have too much in it yet...and I know my reasons for doing the new shop are a litle different then they were when I did my first shop, but I still hope for it to be a success just on a lighter, less pressure scale. I know I have to be patient and positive. I think one of the things I look forward to the most, is sharing my creations with some amazing people that I meet along the way. I have truly met some wonderful & inspiring customers (turned friends) on my last journey. I am so excited to start making more stuff, It truly is a joy. I have a million ideas swimming through my head. So, if you want to check out the new shop it is: Noteballs.etsy.com (name courtesy of a Benjamin creation).

Other Stuff - A winter storm is rolling in tonight, I am so not looking forward to it, but what can you do? Spring , Spring, where are you? My biggest challenge of the morning will be cleaning out my car (blazer), as someone is coming to look at it for a possible purchase in the near future, I cannot believe that I am in the market to switch to a Mini-VAN. Most of my friends drive vans and I am going to have 3 kids to haul around once the tulips start popping out of the ground...but the idea of driving a van kind of scares me a little, I don't know why? I think they feel a little overwhelming. So anyway, cleaning my current car will be a task for sure because this winter I have let many items accumulate within the vehicle and I don't know what to expect to find in there. The moment I said out loud the verse this morning: "This is the day that the Lord has made , let us rejoice and be glad in it"----a cardinal (my favorite bird) flew across my viewing path to greet me a good morning. I know it was for me. :) I am making Chili in the crockpot for an easy and heartwarming dinner this sunday evening. The kids have been such characters lately, truly making me smile and laugh...which is good because I need that right now. How does laundry add up so quickly? I guess it doesnt help that ben changes his clothing at least 3-5 times a day. Every day ben tells me that I am his pretty heart....so I guess I don't mind doing his laundry. for lent Isabelle is giving up fighting with ben. and for lent ben is determined to fight bad guys with his sword and eat goldfish. happy sunday.

Christmas Programs = Precious

Here is the Preschool Christmas Program Production. At first Ben told me he was going to be a donkey, then he told me he was going to be a Shepherd, but then the day of when the children made their grand enterance, I realized that he was the part of Joseph. I can't even explain how precious these moments are. Watching these beautiful little children, come out and perform, Shy and innocent, so filled with wonder and magic. They defintely make this time such a special gift. Seriously, tears & joy witnessing these sweeties. Truly puts the meaning into Christmas, memories that I will always cherish.

I love how they do their own thing & each child adds their own specialness.

Jingle Bells. :)

Isabelle was an Angel in the Elementry School Production. Her first grade class did an amazing job! It was truly beautiful to listen to and witness all of the kids sing with all of their hearts.

I am so proud of Isabelle & Benjamin in so many ways. My Christmas has already arrived.

Rain & Puppet

The rain has been non-stop here. I don't mind the rain...but now I think I am ready for it to halt for a bit. Serioulsy it feels like we are living in Seattle. Maybe my husband should start building the Ark. Everything is Wet , wet, wet and dreary. I think I have to stop using the extra spider-man umbrella and invest in a real adult sized one. Speaking of nature, I am sad to see that most of the leaves seem to be falling off of the trees already. gone. No, I am not ready to let go yet! Can I sew, tape, glue or staple them back on? Seriously, just stay a bit longer. It's not time yet! Please wait around for a little while longer! I know that I should have appreciated you more while you were here. I knew that you wouldn't be staying. But, now that you are going away...I have a hard time accepting it...I just can't help but think that we need more quality time together. You should know that I'll miss you dearly.

Isabelle the silly singing puppeteer. Recently Isabelle made a witch puppet in Brownies, that she absolutely loves. Every day we have been getting a musical show. Isabelle has really been making me smile lately....with her imagination. She is singing and dancing and pretending about with her pigtails swinging in the air as she skips on by...and she reminds me of someone. I remember feeling and being how she is right now. I can picture the thoughts in her head as she goes about her play. I anticipate what she will say and do next as if it was coming out of my own noggin. She has been writing sentances in her journal, and drawing animals on her note pad....and pretending to lead school and church with her books in hand (o.k. class, turn to page 4...). Another joy that I have been experiencing latley, is watching Isabelle and Ben playing together lately. Helping eachother. Hugging and Loving eachother (don't get me wrong of course they fight too), but focusing on their postive actions, it melts my heart. I hear them tell eachother that they love eachother, I see them help eachother zip their coats and share snacks...I listen to their laughter. Their laughter is enough to take away any yuk from the day and let me just enjoy what is going on in the moment. Sometimes it is hard for me to concept that we will be welcoming a new family member in the spring. This new little person is going to have his/her special place in our home and hearts..and is going to create a whole new world for us. This baby is a blessing and I know that I can't wait to meet this amazing gift. I must admit that lately I have been having some anxiety about the changes that will come about...wondering how we will adjust and manage it all. I think feeling so sick has a lot to do with my reservations...but, I also know that we will somehow do it , it might not be easy but it will be wonderful. I believe in this. Sorry to get all mush and sappy, I think I will pour myself a big bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Cinnamon and begin the day! Happy Saturday...don't forget to take some time and watch the leaves fall and listen to the laughter.