tots

We are all enjoying the process of our caterpillars growing...soon to be butterflies.

The baby evalulating her loot from that rabbit.

Ben being goaly with our new soccer net.

The last day of SpRinG soccer for Ben & Belle.

Princess Livy in the Royal Gardens enjoying in the lovely afternoon. ----There's a tator-tot casserole in my oven as I type. "DON't touch my tots!" (napoleon dynomite quote - one of my all time favorite movies...Ever! But, quite Seriously, this is a good & easy casserole to whip together when you are feeling uninspired in the kitchen area. So, you fill it...and they will come. They will come! My Goldfinches have arrived! None, nowhere...and then, boom! 5 on my feeder at once like a magical wonderment. Then Lance barked like a maniac because of someone he spotted out the front window....and they were gone. They flew like wildfire. Gone. But, they will be back. I know they will be back. They came and they will return to me. I am working on a painting for my bathroom that I can't wait to finish. Almost done. Let's just say it includes bacon...kind of sort of. Blackbird fly into the light of the dark black night. Room Exchange: So, our interior room paintings have concluded. Isabelle now has her own room, Ben and Olivia share and Noah and I have our own room (minus Olivia now). I spent the entire day putting Isabelle's room together so I could surprise her when she got home from school. Seriously, I almost started crying. I just love that she has her own space now and it's so "girly". I also was quite moved by the fact that we have finally set up Olivia's crib (instead of the pack in play - yeah seriously) now that we have the room. Let me report that she has already been sleeping better. She bounces in it, she loves it. I just hope she doesn't learn to crawl out of it too quickly. I asked Isabelle to think about what kind of painting she wants me to do for her new room. She said she already thought about it and she will write it down. This is exactly what she wrote: {{{{a pinck scky ah four fariy playing to gether and stars in the sky and the houses for the fariy's and let it say fariy are awsum. }}}}} I think I could so take on this assignment. Ben just came in crying because he has noone to "do his circus" . Mother's instinct, I pick stuff out of his ear and he toots and that's my life and that's o.k. The flowers on my table are dying. One of my paintings is in an auction this weekend and I am a little nervous about that. Today, while I was waiting for Isabelle to get out of school, I looked to the sky. It was rainy and stormy and I see four balloons way up high...rush by. One white. Three in different shades of purple. At the same time lyrics on the radio sing to me: "he will carry me". Now, Isn't that the truth and hasn't it always been? So, we are preparing for Isabelle's 1st Communion and I asked all our guests if they had a 1st Communion pic of themselves , to bring it. Naturally, I must include mine....and I find mine and what is so wonderfully special in my photo? Is that there is a big gap in my mouth, a missing space....a tooth begone....the same exact place that Isabelle is lacking a tooth right now. I think it will be so fun to see all the relatives pics and it sounds like quite a few have found theirs. The kids received caterpillars for Easter. They are growing like superheros. We go through papertowels like water. I put the bib on her , she takes it off. On off. On off. and so on. I give up. That's o.k., afterall - that's what wash machines & brooms are for. And as usual, she's lucky is is cute. goodnight moon. *****Edited to say: As the evening closed in and I was preparing the children for slumber, I noticed...in the woods...a deer. I called the children to come and watch this creature at dusk. There was not one deer, but we discovered --four! Four beautiful animals, peacefully wandering nearby...We watched them and discussed them...and then Ben brought up a time he remembers when he was young and he was a child, and he put Isabelle's fairy wand in his mouth and then there was blood everywhere. ((as I said, earlier - goodnight)).

HAPPY Easter.

that rabbit

I was really happy with how this little painting turned out. From one of my favorite Children's Books: The Velveteen Rabbit. Now that I am a parent, I understand and love this story on such a deeper level. :) Ben wants me to hang it in his room because he says that "it's cute and I'm cute, that's why".

Olivia just loves jumping on the Isabelle and Ben's bean bag chairs. She is also quite fond of this: That's Not My Fairy! book. I think cuz it's magical.

Yesterday, Ben decided that he wanted to dress "HANDSOME" for school. This is the wonderful attire that Ben pulled together. He was quite proud. He even brushed his hair as you can see. :)

The Sun, the SUN!!! - Has finally decided to rejoin us. Amazing how a little shine can brighten up an existance. Isabelle saw "HOP" yesterday with her brownie troop and she loved it. The goldfinches still have not discovered that I have food for them. But, I have faith. Speaking of Faith, Bible Study was very good today (even though I didn't finish my homework and I was missing some very super people!). I wish I could take a nap, I am tired. I am wearing my torn up garden sandles and I don't care. They are ugly, but they are comfortable and today I feel like comfortable. I wish the 12 year old neighbor girl didn't think it was such a great idea to go ahead and tell my 7 year old and my 4 year old children that there is no Easter Bunny and then explain how the process is done. Honestly, this ignorance enrages me. Who the heck do you think you are and how would you like it if I crushed all your magical dreams when you were younger, how about I have a talk with your little 5 year old sister? Didn't anyone teach you, that's fine and dandy if you don't believe, but don't try to ruin it for others? What is wrong with you? Seriously, I want to knock this kid out next time I see her (and I just might!). I hope that I turned the situation around. I did my best to explain to Isabelle and Ben, that some people believe and some people dont, etc...but still...now there are unnecessary doubts in their precious little noggins. Ugh. Speaking of the Easter Bunny, word has it this year that he may be bringing some: Butterflies & a Soccer Net! The Easter Rabbit is beyond awesome in my opinion. I love the smell of Tide. I can't believe it is nearing time to pick the kid up from school. Wow, this day went fast with little accomplished. Oh well, at least the SUN is shining!

A Little Rain Fallen

Togetherness Birds.
Stacked Party Animals are always fun.
Painted clipboard completed.

This year's painted Easter Eggs.
Eggscellent.

*What a rollarcoaster of days it has been. Weather wise, perfect spring to freezing cold snow/rain. Life in general wise: up & down. *I put Goldfinch seed out a few days ago, but they have not discovered it yet. *I decided to cut bangs. The jury is still out whether I like them or not. I think I do. *Olivia had her 1 year dr. appt. She's doing swell. *Love Johnny Cash's song: Hurt. *I need some new paint brushes. *There are 4 bags of sugar on my counter. (for bee food). *Tonight, Noah is coming home from a Texas business trip. *Ben is hoping he will bring a horse with him. *I think we might have hardboiled eggs for dinner tonight. *If you follow every dream you might get lost. *I like brown paper bags with handles. *I should really do some laundry. In fact I am sitting underneath a pile as I type. *I'm wearing a Captin America bandaid. *If I was going to San Fransico, I don't know if I would wear flowers in my hair. *Got Ben the Charlie Brown movie: Happiness is a Warm Blanket. *There's a greenhouse in my kitchen: sprouts have started. It's promising. *I want to go dance in the river. I don't know where the nearest river is. *Besides, it's raining - I would get wet. Goodnight. :)

Flying Grapes

(Easter Rabbits for your viewing pleasure)

So, all kids are in bed (for now) and the dog is out on the back deck. Noah is on his way home (business trip). For various reasons, today kind of unfolded like a nightmare from early this morning until now. I hate feeling this way. Angry, Anxious, Sad & Overwhelmed. Today didn't go so well and I didn't handle things the best that I could have. I chose the path that I am not proud of. Tired is a factor, but it is no excuse. I yelled and I swore and for that I am very sorry. In the end, hopefully, lessons were learned by us all and tomorrow is a new day. I also took another look at my coffee table mess photo. Truly, that is no mess..it is something to be grateful for. The coffee table in that picture is filled with reminders of the Bright, Creative, Beautiful, Playful Children of my life. Children whose spirits can fill a heart with so much joy in a moment's notice. Children who may leave their "stuff " out everywhere...but someday....that stuff won't be there anymore and I know that I will miss it dearly. Now, if I want to complain and share about true messes....there are some smashed peas and grapes on my floor...heck, I even found a piece of grape in my keyboard tonight. Another true mess...my hair. Goodnight.

Time-outs

I think it's super swell when I have fruit and flowers at the same time. Makes things feel all warm and cozy and homey and nurishing and lovely and such.

This is my coffee table at current state of existance. Messes like this honestly: drive me nuts. But, I have learned that I have to let it go and let it be (at least for a bit) cuz I can't control these forces that are against me. They have the power and persuasion. I am just here, holding my breath and accepting what I cannot change (until they are in bed at least).

Sweet Moment: Sitting in the school parking lot a few minutes before pick up time, I notice Ben and one of his teachers coming around the corner of the building together. Ben is holding a fist full of Dandelions. I assume they are for me (and they are). I think about how fortunate we are, that Ben has such a compassionate teacher (Ben told me he was crying and she helped him find some flowers for me) and I think about how blessed I am that my little boy has a heart of thoughtfulness and giving.

...here's that same little boy in a time-out today.

Time Outs. Sometimes I wish I could have a time out or 2. Like just a little bit ago...when Isabelle came in the house with her glasses...broken. The neighbor girl tried them on (took them off her head without asking), completely stretched them out and has basically broken them. I don't know what the hell she did to them! (excuse my hell). They are majorly screwed up! they won't stay on Isabelles head, they won't even stay on mine! Why did she even touch them in the first place? I am angry. Let's even say: livid. I yell at Isabelle that they are expensive and they are NOT a toy and the girl had NO business touching them! I yell at Isabelle and she cries. (instead I should have just took a run through the woods and screamed my head off and came back...but then noone would watch the baby and she would get everything out of the cabinets and dip her hands in the toliet and she would probably get a hold of the glasses and break them some more, so actually it was best I did not take off). Isabelle is sobbing and I am so angry. This is right now and I must calm down. I am hoping that I can fix the glasses properly. I need to breathe. I feel like a horrible jerk being so mad, but I AM mad! I need to go make dinner, I will update on the situation later. Just shar'in some real life. This is it, in all its glory. Uncontrolable Messes, Time-outs, Broken Glasses...and some Dandelions as the Saving Grace of the moment. I am thankful for Dandelions and the little hands that picked them...I am hopeful for some precious Time-Ins to repair not only a pair of glasses, but also a little girl's broken heart.

My Baby Turns: One!

On April 12th, Olivia Helen turned One Years Old! Here she shows us HOW BIG she is! She did NOT like the hat.

This is why I should leave the cake making up to the pros.

But, I guess she seemed to like it any way!

This day was so bittersweet for me. So happy that this little girl is growing up. Each step, Each day is a new and exciting (and challenging sometimes) adventure. I love seeing her turning into a real little person...whom thinks and interacts and plays and develops...but I know that with each new Step, that her babyhood is being left behind. This makes me sad...but I am so excited to see who this little girl will become. Olivia, we cherish and adore you. You are so loved and we are so blessed. Happy Birthday Baby!

Raindrops and Crickets

Hello my little friend. I have missed you this winter. Yes, I forgot about you . I left you out in the cold. Somehow you have survived to greet me this spring. I think it's cuz you are kind of magical.

Ben found and pulled the pool from last year out. The kids had so much fun rediscovering outside today. Ive forgotten how dirty everyone and everything gets this time of year. Dirt, Mud...several baths...

Little Miss O, enjoying some breeze and sunshine.

Little Miss O, hamming it up for the camera.

Little Miss O, quite sick of the paparazzi. She was done being photographed and wanted the camera to go away. This is where she threatened to destroy my camera and throw it in the river. I thought it would be safest to take her seriously and let her play in peace.

Today the sun shines again. This weekend was beautiful weather. Sun Kissed skies and God breathed winds. This weekend helped make me well. We all have coughs and such lingering...but hopefully soon full health will be restored. This weekend Olivia said: "Mommy" as clear as day. It was awesome. I managed to get some projects done (cleaned out closet, reorganized book shelf, empty a cabinet (that when you open everything falls out of...well not anymore!). Of course when you focus on somethings, other things must lack because there is only so much time to go around. It's stormed like crazy last night. Noah really worked on the garden this weekend, got much planted. While at soccer this weekend, I overheard Ben tell one of the moms that he hopes it will rain so his dad's garden would grow. She asked what he plants in his garden and Ben answered: Tomatoes, Onions, Apples and Pickles. It makes me a little sad that Isabelle wants to do her own hair now. Well, I have much on my agenda today that I want to accomplish (nothing too exciting it includes piles of laundry, dishes and other lovelies) so I better get to it. I shall leave you with a few items from my "Gifts" Journal this morning: *weather that revitalizes and renews. *a much needed walk in the park with friends. *the grapeyest juice in town. *a few minutes of quiet and the sense to take advantage of it.

Singing in the Rain

This is a clipboard that I am working on. I need to finish painting details and maybe add a fun quote. If this turns out, I hope to make them for teacher gifts for the end of the school year.

A Magical Fairy

This is a painting that I created for a silent auction fundraiser at school. I got the orginal idea online and changed it up a bit. It is Acrylic paint on 16x20 stretched canvas.

This is a happy messy baby eating a cookie.

Here is a recent pic of the trio of trouble.

It's hard to breathe. My lungs hurt... I believe even my heart hurts. I slide open the window and the damp air wraps around me like a blanket. I look through the kid smudged window pane to witness my empty bird feeders. The squirrels have concured them once again. I inhale the dirt and grass. I turn the music off and I listen to the evening earth. I watch the beautiful baby play. Just her and I. The others are out for dinner. So, I provide my full attention to her abilities and her spirit. She is wonderous in evey single way. The light in her eyes, the grasp of her pudgy little hand, her easy laughter. What a delight. I don't do this enough. I don't sit and realize how amazing the gifts in my life truly are. I need to slow down and not worry about getting things done so much. This baby is growig so fast, they all are.

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*I overheard Isabelle tell my mom yesterday, that she thinks she grew , because for some reason she "feels taller today".

*My parents and I have begun video calls on the computer with the kids. I see my dad clapping and my baby Olivia clapping back in response. They are both smiling at eachother and filled with joy. Over the distance of time and space, they connect and I think this is just amazing. Sometimes I get so scared and nervous about the fast pace and things that technology takes away. But, then something like this...this is WOW.

*It's not a school day so of course the kids are up early - Soccer, they both yell! I am thinking they are liking it.

*I am so tired of being sick. I keep thinking about all the things I will do when Im well. I am waiting for the sun to come out. I believe that will heal me instantly. I want us all to be well so we can enjoy this season. I think we have gone through a truck load of kleenex this winter.

*Ben has brought a duck & journal home from school. We are supposed to record their adventures together this weekend. We should probably bring Quackers to Ben's soccer game. So far we have read Quackers 2 books regarding ducks: Little Quacks Bedtime and Find The Duck.

*Wishing my family & friends, a beautiful Saturday of Health, Sunshine, Laughter and maybe a little Technology. :)

Bee Careful

So, it is Bee Season again on this homefront. Noah is excited that one of his hives thrived (the other failed, but has now been replaced). I suppose we can expect some honey this year. I am hoping. It was quite risky being the photographer in this situation...but, I survived.

Some of the residents.

Ben went to the store with Noah to get some of the garden stuff for the upcoming season. Ben chose these sunflowers for ME. He said he is going to plant them and then he is going to pick them for me. (my sweet little boy). He also added later as he spoke about the flowers that if I wanted to, I could get him something boyish.

Aunt Mary came out for a visit and Ben insisted that she get out her sewing machine and make a vest for his Diego Doll. Well, I just wanted to show Aunt Mary, what Ben did with the vest after she left.

And here we are. Survived a very busy Spring Break...survived it with colds. I lost my voice for 3 days. We are still battling the tail end of illness (Olivia and I are). Speaking of Olivia, she once again decided she didn't want to sleep much last night. Fun Stuff. I was so tired this morning, when my phone went off this morning and it said School, I answered it, wondering...why is school calling me this early? It wasn't a phone call....it was my alarm. ugh. duh. Isabelle has recently discovered the world of : Joke Books. She brought one home from the school library and we have been engaged in giggles and laughter. Ben often chooses a Clifford book from the library. I wonder how many Clifford books exist. He always seems to find a different one. These days I am very much struggling with not being organized. My home and my thoughts are filled with clutter and I just can't seem to get my act together. Somehow I pull off each day, but not how I truly want to. I don't get enough done. My list gets longer and I miss some things. Things that I wish I could be more attentive to. Things that I used to have under control. Things that are important enough to care about but not required, so they get forgotten about these days. They get pushed back and lost. I want to do things better. I want my house, my family, my life to function better...so I need to focus & work on that. Time Management and Stuff Management....those are things I need to improve. Last night I made a new meal: Pork Chops with gingered pears, rice and asparagus. It was a lot of work, a lot of dishes and noone really seemed to eat much or even say they liked it. I thought it was good, but I regretted all that was involved because I was exhausted (still battling sickness). Well, as I was cleaning up afterwards, I was gently reminded with a thought in my head - that I don't need to be thanked or told good job. That is not what this is about. Not at all. I pray today is a good day. Hopefully better weather than yesterday, hopefully better health for my family, hopefully, I will have no dog poop in the house to clean up (sorry just being real). So, I will note a few things to be grateful for at the moment and I will begin this day, tired, weary and with boogers, but with hope in my heart: *sun shining. *internet working (it wasn't earlier). *heat in the house. Um, I guess that's it for now....I will try for more later but the baby has hit her head on the coffee table. Let me leave you with this told by Isabelle: How do you keep a Zombie from Charging? Cut up his credit card.

Hello Spring

Have a beautiful day!